Why don't they care about my


Why don't they care about my

Why don't they care about my advice as much as I care about them?
Advice is loving, so give it better, and avoid mistakes that make it repulsive

Advice is a gift, so give it better. 

I grew up and learned that advice is love for those around me as a means of assistance without being asked, and then my love for advice increased when I knew that every information I knew had to be transmitted, so that God would not ask me about concealing knowledge, as well as transferring knowledge is charity, and with this awareness I did not miss an opportunity to comment And provide the correct guidance from my point of view, and I take the art to provide detailed advice

and I repeat it every time I see the same behavior, thinking that repetition will help in the application, and with my love for learning and increasing my information, I feel that I have more space for advice, as well as providing advice from my point of view where the solution lies. Because it is scientific.

And I saw that the other’s refusal to advise is nothing but attempts to refuse help, or that he does not know the value of the impact that will have on him by applying it, and therefore I was repeating my advice, and since I see that this is a good behavior, my family was the first with advice that I see loving, I was trying to spread my advice All the time, and I feel proud of it because it can have a positive impact, and I was amazed at their lack of response, and on the contrary, they often resented my advice. 

Surprisingly, with learning about relationships and other exercises and trying to understand, I knew that advice had foundations to accept, and that good My intention in trying to advise was not to intercede for the mistakes that I was making when advising, and also not everyone is ready to hear advice, and other important factors that I will share with you.

Your vision from the outside is different from the inside
When you advise, you are able to see from the side of what the person may not see, and your advice is to link the two distances as much as possible, and you also see an external image without turbulent feelings such as the person feels in his experience, and you also do not see the barriers that he sees himself

to talk about facing the waves with strength is not Such as actually facing it, with physical and mental effort and the amount of mixed emotions that make it difficult for you to move, and between organizing yourself and feeling wet and heat and other factors.

Beware of negative advice

Critical advice

Advice is negative when it does not provide useful information, as many advice sounds good, but in its form it is a method of criticism that conveys to the person that there is a problem without providing a solution, as someone says obesity is harmful to your health and is silent. This is not advice because it did not provide a solution, and so is it It is like pointing out the faults of the other, and therefore it is unpalatable advice, but on the contrary, it alienates the person.

You feel underappreciated

When you say a piece of information and you feel that the person is underestimating and underestimating his mind or not appreciated and understanding his point of view, that feeling is reflected when giving advice, it may appear from you a way of saying you are a person of little understanding and my role is to teach you as if you are his teacher who is always more knowledgeable than him, and this is of course repulsive even if the words are acceptable It is harmful to the other.

Your feeling of pity

To leak from you to those you advise that you pity him, and feel that he is a little resourceful and your knowledge is the savior for him, as if this happens in my close circle at the time when problems occur and you face them and I try to help them while I feel sorry for them 

I used to find a great aversion and told me I do not like that tone of yours, and I did not understand the reason As I learned about relationships and communication, I learned that this dialect makes a person feel defeated, weak, and calls for pity, which is unacceptable, and I thought that dialect made him feel appreciative of his feelings, so I learned the meaning of acknowledging feelings and showing understanding instead.

Your advice is not the absolute truth

You may see that you are right and give golden advice, but remember how much information you were sure of its correctness and then found the opposite, so take into account giving questionable advice, but if you are absolutely sure of its authenticity and the credibility of its source, take into account that the one you advise does not see it so do not feel compelled To hear you, or else you will be alienated, and you will understand the different levels of our consciousness.

Advice must be taken into account

o The different order of priorities and personal values : therefore, what you see as important does not mean that it is of the same importance to others.

o You must take into account the psychological state of the person : you advise from a mental state and the future is in an emotional state, so they do not meet, so take into account in your advice understanding the feelings of the other or postpone your advice for a time when feelings are calmer.

o Mental barriers : it means that what you see as acceptable, and it is possible that this only happened to you to overcome mental barriers such as obstructive thoughts, or to reach your current level of awareness that can absorb the level of advice, and the future may be at a different level of awareness that makes that advice unrealistic, and does not fit it like parental advice For their children that do not take into account the difference in age and the distance of life experiences that made him absorb that advice.

o Simplify the information without exaggeration.

o Realism : where the details of the advice touch the reality of the person you advise, and they are applicable and not just theoretical.

o Choosing the right timing : It means asking if the person has a psychological and mental state that allows him to receive the conversation.

o Do not repeat the advice all the time: This is a kind of pressure that makes a person alienate.

o Not focusing on defects : Advice as monitoring defects is not advice, but rather an observation of defects only, and not praising a person's merits more than advising him regarding his defects, makes your method repulsive, but on the contrary, harmful.

o Advice is in secret : advice in public is scandalous, and even if you think that it will not embarrass him, make sure that your opinion stems from your experience and personality and therefore does not suit everyone.

o Not providing your advice in an obligatory form : Take into account the choice of words when you say you must and this must not be, of course this is far from the religious legislation in which the obligatory formula must be clarified.

o Choosing the right words and avoiding intimidation.

o be quiet comfortable tone : If you're nervous or excited will be reflected on your style, and thus reduces the efficiency of the other reception of information and your ability to provide advice properly.

o Positive words are smooth : light on the hearing and the soul, negative words that give disturbing mental images will not give a positive result.

o Providing a solution : not only observing the problem and warning against it. This is considered alienating theorizing, but providing the solution is a auxiliary means.

o That the person is on the verge of advice, and is not exposed to what you say or is arrogant for advice or sees that he is in need of your advice, then your insistence on advice will be a waste of your energy and distress for your relationship.

Variation in the speed of application of the advice

And suppose that you chose well the advice, timing and psychological readiness of the person and chose positive words, this does not mean that the person will apply what you said immediately, otherwise you yourself applied the instructions of a healthy diet easily, or you became able to apply everything you learn as soon as you know

this is unrealistic because between Learning information and application is a distance between effort and time, so do not feel others lack their ability to improve, but assure him that he will be able to implement with time and effort.

In the end…. Make sure to teach you about the method of advice from my experience and vision, which is not everything, but rather search for yourself and seek the truth. Also, put before your eyes that the word is a trust, so choose your advice, as it may spoil someone’s life and God asks you.